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We arrived and I climbed down from behind him, awkwardly removing the helmet and the hair
tie with my gloved fingers. Still straddling the bike, he removed his helmet, too, and stored them both
away as though he had no plans to put his back on. When I faced him, he was staring at his hands, tight
on the wide handlebars.  You already knew, didn t you? His voice was low, but I couldn t tell his
frame of mind.
 Yes.
He looked up at me, frowning and searching my eyes.  Why didn t you say anything?
 Why didn t you? I returned. I didn t want to answer questions. I wanted my questions
answered, and I was ticked off that he was going to make me ask them.  So your name is Landon? But
Ralph calls you Lucas. And that girl other people call you Lucas. So which is it?
His gaze returned to his hands for a moment, and my anger expanded like a balloon inflating
beneath my ribs. He seemed to be deciding what to tell me and what to withhold. The Harley rumbled
softly, ready to rocket away at a second s notice.
 It s both. Landon is my first name, Lucas the middle. I go by Lucas& now. But Charles Dr.
Heller has known me a long time. He still calls me Landon. His eyes swung up to mine.  You
know, I think, how difficult it is to get some people to stop calling you what they ve always called
you.
Very logical. All of it. Except the part where he pretended to be two different guys with me.
 You could have told me. You didn t. You lied to me.
He turned the bike off and swung his leg over, standing in front of me and gripping my shoulders.
 I never lied to you. You made assumptions based on what Ch Dr. Heller called me. Look through
our emails. I never called myself Landon.
I shrugged from his grasp.  But you let me call you Landon.
His hands dropped but he stared down at me, keeping me from moving.  You re right, this was
my fault. And I m sorry. I wanted you, and this couldn t happen as Landon. Anything between us is
against the rules, and I broke them.
I swallowed thickly, combating choking up. I heard what he hadn t said, yet. He was telling me it
was over, just like that. The awful reality of desertion that Kennedy had begun weeks before came
rushing back as though a dam had broken, and with no notice I was drowning in it. My parents had
deserted me, Kennedy had deserted me, my friends, except for Erin and Maggie, had deserted me.
And now Lucas and Landon. Two different relationships, both of which had become significant.
 So it s just over.
He stared, and I couldn t have felt it more if his fingers roamed over my face.  Your grade could
be at stake otherwise. I ll take responsibility for this, tonight, when I get back; Dr. Heller won t hold
you accountable.
 So it s just over, I repeated.
 Yes, he said.
I turned and walked into the building, and didn t hear the engine of the Harley rumble to life until
my foot was on the bottom stair.
Chapter 16
 Ms. Wallace, please see me for just a moment after class.
I glanced up to meet Dr. Heller s gaze at the end of the lecture Monday, and nodded my assent.
 Ooohhh, Benji said.  You little troublemaker. His smile fell when he saw my face.  What s
the matter? You aren t actually in trouble are you? He glanced to the back of the classroom, zeroing
in on the only reason I could be in hot water with the professor.  Did he find out about you know.
He inclined his head in Lucas s direction.
 Yes.
His eyes widened and he lowered his voice.  Oh, shit, are you serious? How?
I shook my head.  It doesn t matter. He found out, and it s over.
Pinning his lips together, he stuffed his notebook into his backpack and sighed.  Oh, man. I m
sorry. His hazel eyes were full of sympathy.  Anything I can do?
I shook my head again, needing to redirect the conversation.  I ll be fine. How did the coming
out go?
Smiling broadly, he held his arms wide.  As you can see, I m still in one piece, with all
essential parts accounted for. He waggled his brows, tossing his backpack over his shoulder after I [ Pobierz całość w formacie PDF ]