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outgoing vision channels are switched off, naturally, so that nobody has to
look at the experts they are consulting, but our clients are used to that now.
I
don t know what type of mind-changing therapy you used on the others, because
their former specialties aren t medicine and they won t talk about it, but
with me you talked about nothing but
Sector General.
 You told me about the wonderful and often dangerous events that took place
there,
Marrasarah went on,  and the strange beings who work there, and the even
stranger entities and conditions that they are called on to treat, and the
challenging problems and ingenious solutions that were and are a daily
routine. The staff and patients you described with the feeling of a great and
dedicated psychiatrist while the events were related with the medical insight
and purely
Kelgian viewpoint possible only to one who shares my mind. In the beginning I,
too, wanted an excuse to die and leave this deformed body. Instead I began
counting the days until your next leave so as to hear more of your life. And
now you want me to share that life by copying all of your memories into my
mind, including this strange attraction you feel for me. I am greatly honored
that you should offer this, but I don t think I want to share all the
knowledge and innermost secrets and the true, unspoken thoughts of the
psychologist O Mara s mind.
 I am afraid:
O Mara tried not to look at the pitifully few mobile patches of fur that were
reflecting her fear. Even though it would not alter their future together or
his feelings for her, he was becoming afraid, too, of her rejecting a gift
that would lead to her full understanding of the rough, untutored, and complex
person that was himself.
 Of what? he said gently.
 I know you through your words and actions" she replied.  They were healing
words and kindly actions spread out over many years. But now you are giving me
the chance to know the true thinking and reasons behind those words and
actions, and of that I am afraid. I am afraid of discovering a small
selfishness or imperfection in a being I have long regarded with respect,
admiration, and deep affection, or of discovering in you a strange,
psychological abnormality that your Earth-human words have unwittingly
concealed from me. I-I am afraid of being disappointed.
O Mara smiled, knowing that over the years she had learned to understand the
meaning behind that Earth-human grimace, and ordered his thoughts for a moment
before speaking. He had been looking forward to this moment ever since he had
illegally impressed himself with the
Marrasarah mind tape to aid the therapy oh the then-young trainee,
Thornnastor, and he was afraid, too, but of the disappointment of rejection.
He said,  My words and actions toward you have been those of a therapist with
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one physically impaired, emotionally disturbed, and professionally challenging
patient who, for many years, has ceased to require therapy or be a patient. So
I admit that I am selfish and imperfect
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20Changer.txt (106 of 124) [2/1/2004 3:05:32 AM]
file:///D|/Documents%20and%20Settings/harry/Desktop/James%20White%20-%20Sector
%20General%2011%20-%20Mind%20Changer.txt and not admirable or worthy of
respect, and there isn t a psychologist in the Federation who would not
consider me as anything but abnormal because I do need your affection, and
more than that.
 Within the first few hours of taking your mind tape" he went on,  I formed a
strong, emotional attachment to you. It was love at first meeting, but it was
a nonphysical love that had nothing to do with sexual attraction because, if
it had, that really would have been abnormal. I
loved, and love, the Marrasarah personality who had worked and studied hard to
rise to the top of a profession which, even on enlightened Kelgia, is
predominantly male. I loved the unselfish way you helped your fellow students,
your most difficult patients, and eventually your colleagues who had
professional or personal problems, and the larger the problems the more you
strove to solve them. In spite of your youth when you donated the mind tape,
you were widely respected and loved because you couldn t help being a
counselor and friend and at times a mother to everyone who needed help. If I
had met an Earth-human who was like you, my early life would have been
different and certainly happier. But instead you became my mind partner.
Everything about you became part of me and I was more contented and happy than
I could have believed possible.
 Since that time, he continued when she seemed about to interrupt,  your
experience has helped me in my work, given me a greater understanding in my
professional dealings with otherspecies patients, and generally kept me [ Pobierz całość w formacie PDF ]